That One Moment
by Kuroi Tenshi1
Summary: A wall that separates a soldier from the rest and the crack that cuases it to crumble...I suck at summaries, I know. ^^;;


That One Moment 

By  Kuroi Tenshi

                _"Are you happy with him?"_

_                "Where did that question come from?"_

_                "Nowhere…. I've just been observing how happy you seem whenever he's around. Even those times he's not. Is that how love is?"_

_                "I wouldn't say that's exactly how it is… but it's something like that. You'll understand it when you experience it yourself."_

_                "I doubt it. I've already lived a long life but it's still the same…"_

_                "I've heard a line that goes along like this, 'I don't want to live—I want to love first, and live incidentally.'__ Don't you think it's a nice line?"_

                _"When do you know when you start loving then living instead of simply living?"_

_                "Full of questions today, aren't we?"_

_                "I want… I want to be happy like you are. When he's here, when he's not… I want something like the one you have."_

_                "You can tell, when you're loving and being loved in that one moment when everything seems to stop and it's just you and the one you love."_

_                "How would I know if it's already that moment?"_

_                "You just do."_

~*~*~*~

                Noin looked up from the papers she was reading and glanced at the spiral staircase where Relena was expected to descend any second now. She could hear the heavy footsteps of the young woman upstairs, no doubt wearing the carpet down by pacing back and forth in her room.

                She smiled inwardly before returning to the report she was reading. The girl was definitely more than ready to have a nervous breakdown. Noin smiled at the prospect of Relena Darlain, composed and reserved, unnerved by a mere "casual meeting over a cup of coffee," as she called it. This was the same girl who had kept her firm grasp on control while her brother and a boy fought for peace among the colonies. This was the same girl who held her head high and faced the world with a smile as she bore on her tiny, young shoulders the weight of the world as their queen.

                And now, the same girl who had kept her cool was losing it.

                "NOIN!" Relena exclaimed, practically flying down the stairs and running toward the woman calmly sitting in the living room, reading and analyzing the progress reports that needed her approval. "I need your help! Do I look okay? Are my eyes too big? Are my lips too red? Do I need to change my dress or should I wear shorts instead?"

                The dark-haired woman shook her head. "You look fine, Relena. Why don't you sit down for a while and catch your breath? Heero will arrive any minute now to pick you up for your _meeting_," she said, slyly eyeing Relena as she averted her eyes uncomfortably.

                "Really, it's just a meeting—it's not what you think!" she said, not being able to stop herself from blushing. "He wanted to discuss the MARS project so I thought we could discuss it over coffee." When Noin didn't say anything, she blushed harder. "And it was Milliardo's idea!" she blurted out. "And Heero wanted to—" She was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

                "There's your date—oh, I mean the guy you're having a meeting with," Noin said, chuckling as Relena almost tripped, face-first over her own feet in her haste to get to the door.

                "Heero!" she heard the girl say, the delight in her voice obvious despite Relena's attempts to hide it. "I'm ready, just let me get my purse."

                Relena rushed back to the room and glared at Noin who was grinning at her slyly. "Have fun at your _meeting_," she said, barely able to keep herself from laughing as Relena almost dragged the poor boy with his arm to escape her.

                After the door closed and the mansion was quiet once again, she turned back to her papers, briefly wondering what her fiancé would say if he found out his younger sister was going out on dates instead of signing papers while he was away on a business trip. "Well, we're all entitled to play hooky anyway," she said to herself. "It's one of man's inalienable rights."

~*~*~*~

                Relena stared at the black depths of her coffee mug. Across her, Heero was drowning himself with the warm brown liquid as if there was no tomorrow. She mentally ran through the list of topics she had prepared to discuss and talk about if such a time like this would come but her mind come up with only a blank. Meaning her brain had decided to desert her at the most crucial time.

                They were sitting at a dimly lit corner of a small French café. With the small tables with its checkered tablecloth, it gave its customers a sense of warmth and comfort offered by the setting. But as they seemed to be one of the very few customers in that area, it gave Relena a sense of isolation. That the silence between her and the boy she felt deep feelings for was some sort of barrier she couldn't overcome.

                She wanted to destroy the Wall of Silence that isolated him from the world but she had no idea how. Heero appeared to be too immersed with the papers he brought with them that she hesitated to make any form of noise that might draw his attention to her. She wanted him to turn to her on his free will. That was why she kept silent, waiting, hoping, wishing that Heero would remember he was not alone; that she was there, sitting across him and waiting for him to let her in.

                He finally looked up. "Relena?"

                Her head snapped in attention, a smile gracing her lips as his blue eyes trained on her own purple orbs. "Yes?"

                "I need you to sign here," he said, reaching across the table to put a sheet in front of her. It was about the increase of supplies for the MARS Project he was heading. "We need more men to work on it if you want it to be done by next year."

                She nodded mutely, staring, though not seeing, the white sheet in front of her, and mechanically signing her name on it. "This is for the future," she said softly, almost incoherently.

                When she looked up to hand it back to him, she found him staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face. "Future. What are your plans for the future, Relena?"

                _To get married and have your kids, her mind automatically answered but only smiled in response. "I guess to have the MARS Project complete as soon as possible for the people. What about you?"_

                Heero gathered his things, not looking at her before speaking. "Since we're done, why don't we walk for a while to stretch our legs?"

                She nodded, giving him a small smile as he paid the bill and pulled her chair for her. She was a bit hurt that he evaded her question, _again_. They have had this kind of questions before and it always has the same result. Heero leaving her questions unanswered.

                There was a beach near the café they spent most of the afternoon at so Relena asked to go there, wanting to watch the sun set with the sand beneath her bare feet. She took off her sandals and sat on the boulders, drawing her legs near and hugging them tight. Heero was still next to her, standing close but still, she could feel the invisible wall separating them. She hugged her knees closer.

                It reminded her of letter to him. She had confessed her feelings for him on that letter, explaining the strange emotions she felt the first time they met. Even then, with his eyes closed and his hair plastered wet against his forehead, something was holding her back from completely reaching him. Even unconscious he was pushing her away.

                It described the pain she felt when she thought he was dead. It pained her that she didn't even have the chance to tell him how she really felt, unrequited as it is. She told him in that letter the reason she wanted to build a new era of peace.

                She wanted a world where no wars are fought; no soldiers are needed. Because she knew how much his heart cried for those who died in his hands. She knew that despite the cold and emotionless façade, he was still capable of feeling pain and remorse. She wanted to kiss those tears away for him, if only he'd give her the chance.

                The letter held the secret thoughts and feelings she permitted no one else to know. All her confessions were written there, the reason why regardless of the silence between them, she still continued to look for a crack on that wall to reach the boy she had fallen in love with.

                But she never did have the courage to send it. She kept it hidden in her drawer, one day hoping that time would come and she would be able to give it to him and look at him straight in the eyes.

                "Why do you think people love others despite the pain it causes them?" Heero asked, breaking the silence as the last rays of the setting sun reached them.

                "Men are born masochists," she replied, attempting to lighten the mood. Then paused to give a proper answer. "I think that's what love is. You're willing to get hurt for the one you love no matter what."

                "There's only pain."

                "But sometimes, pain brings people together."

                "Despite Walls of Silence?"

                "I think…" Relena looked up at him but turned away when his eyes met hers. "I don't know. Maybe."

                "Why do you keep yourself isolated then?"

                "What do you mean?" she asked, distinctly aware that Heero was sitting next to her. She could feel her heart race, its beating hammering against her ears.

                "There's a crack. There had always been one."

                "What crack?" she asked, left hand propping her weight since she was sure she was going to faint any minute now. It was like Heero could read her mind.

                "A crack on the wall that you say keeps a certain soldier isolated from the world, like you said."

                "I said that?"

                "More than once on the letter."

                "You read the letter—but how?" she asked, turning to him and finding herself locked in his steely gaze. "Then you know…" she looked down, feeling heat and red wash over her. He must have been laughing at her all this time.

                "There's always been a crack on the wall."

                "Why didn't I see it then?" she asked softly. The waves crashed against the boulders and she felt a sprinkle of salt water make contact with her skin.

                "It was you," he said, closing her hand in his own. "You're the one that that bonds me to the rest. _You're the crack._"

                Relena felt his warm gaze and lifted her eyes to look at him, feeling warmth spread over her body, starting from her hand, which he held.

                She remembered what Noin had told her earlier that year when she asked him if she was happy with her brother. You'd know you're in love when it feels like just the two of you in the world. At first, she didn't understand.

                But she does now.

                Everything fell into place that one moment his lips brushed hers.__

Fin


End file.
